Do You Have a Bucket List?
July 17th, 20016 at 1.15pm
Since the movie, The Bucket List, came out in 2007 the idea of creating a list of things to do before you kick the bucket has really caught on. Every day I see posts for people on Facebook about how they've just added something to or crossed something off their bucket list. Some people have even created bucket lists for their pets.
But does having a bucket list really add meaning to your life - or are you just putting more pressure on yourself? After all, we are human beings not human doings. I'm not against having things that we would like to accomplish but I wonder if we are sacrificing leading a more meaningful life to the idea that we need to do all these things before we die.
Often the things that we put on our bucket lists are things that we see or hear others talking about and that seem like a good idea at the time - things like skydiving or flying a plane or going to Antarctica. But they're not the things that really add to our day-to day lives - things like being more compassionate or finding work that you really enjoy or just taking the time to watch the sunrise.
Instead of putting more pressure on yourself to complete a range of activities (and then feeling like a failure or feeling guilty when you don't achieve them) why not let those go and start a new list of things that will add to your daily enjoyment of life? I know that one of the things I'll always regret was not making the time to take my mother to the new cafe she wanted to go to - she died a few days later. Often it will be the small things that turn out to have more emotional impact as we grow older.
We are surrounded by wonderful things but we aren't aware of them because we're too busy rushing around. There's no need to go anywhere or do anything to really experience life. What would a list of meaningful activities be for you? And, if you can't answer that question, maybe you should be spending time working that out instead of rushing off to do some new activity!
Please let me know what you think!
What will the neighbours think?
March 24th, 20016 at 10.57am
How often do you let fear of what others will think stop you from doing things? If we were all truthful, I think that many of us would admit that worrying about how others perceive us takes up quite a lot of our mental energy.
The desire to fit in and to be accepted by others is really a survival trait - in the past, being ostracised from your group, tribe or village meant that physical survival became more difficult. Bucking the norm could have serious consequences. But these days, it often is the people who stop letting naysayers influence them who achieve more. So, how do you stop that fear?
Begin by taking a good look at the people you surround yourself with. There is a popular saying that you are the average of the five people you spend most time with and I think that there is more than a grain of truth in it! If your friends aren't interested in making the changes you want to make, then you need to find new friends who are. I'm not saying that you need to get rid of your old friends but start to look for people who share your new interests.
When I first trained as a hypnotherapist and opened my clinic, some friends told me that I shouldn't risk so much financially - if I had listened to them, I would still be stuck in a job I didn't like instead of doing something I love. So, I joined various groups for people who were in business and met others who had similar ideas to me. I still see my old friends regularly but I now have some wonderful new friendships.
I knew that my friends' concerns came from their love for me but sometimes there are people who are just negative about life in general or who don't like to see others succeed where they have failed. We've all heard about the 'Tall Poppy Syndrome' and unfortunately it is alive and kicking in Australia! They don't have your best interests at heart and often it is better to just let those friendships fade and concentrate on people who lift you up.
Build your confidence by sharing your new ideas or changes with people you trust to support you and then, as things take shape and you start to meet your goals, you'll find that you can talk more openly with others. It is harder for them to bring you down when you are already starting to see some success.
Last, but definitely not least, remember that you are the one person who has to live with you for every moment of the rest of your life. Friendships come and go. We may meet a lot of people but we often never meet them again. I've heard that when people get to the end of their lives, their biggest regrets are about things they didn't do rather than things they did do. So don't let doubt or fear paralyse you and lead to regrets.
Remember that you, and only you, can make the decisions that are right for you!
Please add your comment!
Success is a word that we all use but what does success mean to you?
March 7th, 2016 at 2.59pm
Anybody in business needs to become clear about what success means to them. When I first started in business, I could never relate to the goal-setting exercises that focused on having a big house and a car. It was only once I identified that I was more motivated by helping clients and started to set goals around the number of people I worked with that I started to achieve success.
Some years ago, a young business owner came to one of our workshops. We were working on goals and he said that he had set a goal a few years ago but he couldn't remember what it was. Immediately I knew that the goal he had set was not the right one for him - no wonder he wasn't achieving it! After some thought he remembered that the goal had been to own a house on Sydney harbour. He had set it after visiting just such a house and thinking it would be good to live in a spot like that. But it was just a fleeting desire - he wasn't passionate it about it.
When asked what he really wanted he said that he wanted to have offices in all the major cities in Australia and to have a team of employees. When he spoke about that, his whole face lit up and the change in his body language was obvious. We set a goal around that and after that weekend, his business really started to take off. He now has a team of employees and offices in Sydney, Brisbane and Melbourne.
So get clear about what success means to you - make sure it is something you really want and then set your goals around that.
As Napoleon Hill says in Think and Grow Rich, "The starting point of all achievement is DESIRE. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desire brings weak results, just as a small fire makes a small amount of heat".
Please add your comment!
Kicking Your Goals for 2016!
January 19, 2016 at 8:38 pm
WHAT’S YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION?
Happy New Year!
Did you make a New Year’s Resolution? We start out with good intentions but often our willpower soon fades. Keep yourself motivated with these tips.
1) Strengthen your resolve by writing your goal down.
2) Be specific. Decide how much weight you will lose or how much money you will save.
3) Give your goal a time frame.
4) Write your goal in the present tense as if you’re already successful.
5) We’re motivated by feelings so imagine how will feel at that exact moment when you’ve reached your goal.
6) Have some way of measuring your progress.
7) Focus on what you want rather than what you don’t want. When you focus on what you don’t want, e.g. ‘I don’t want to be in debt’ then you’re motivated to begin with but once you start feeling more comfortable, your motivation decreases. Instead focus on saving a stated amount of money.
8) Break your goal down into small steps. Give each of these steps a time frame. Reward yourself when you reach those smaller milestones.
9) Be flexible. Unexpected things happen – be prepared to change your plan or even your goal to meet new challenges. Don’t get discouraged or beat yourself up – just stay focused on the big picture.
10) Be committed – it takes about 21 days for a new activity to become a habit, and six months for it to become part of your personality. Keep going, even when it seems really hard.
Examples of Goals:
It is 30th November 2018 and I’m at the bank. I’ve just deposited $500 into my account and I now have $30,000 saved. I feel elated and excited because I can now apply for that housing loan.
It is January 28th 2016 and I’m sitting in my new car (specify the make and model). I can smell that ‘new car’ smell and I feel excited as I turn the key in the ignition and hear the purr of the engine.
Write your goal like this and notice how much more motivated you feel. And remember to stay focused!
Please add your comment!